Monday, January 18, 2010

Jack is Back!!! (And there's gonna be trouble!)

At the end of the fifth season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy dies in final confrontation with the villain of the year, Glory. (Yes, Buffy comes back in season six. Death is a minor inconvenience for the Slayer as we know!) . The last shot of that last episode is of her tombstone.
Inscribed is:


…And she certainly did

BUT…not as much as Jack Bauer!!! (Bet you thought this was gonna be a Buffy Blog didn't you?)

YES! Jack is back for an 8th VERY bad day

This season the bad guys are trying to derail a historic nuclear-inspection agreement between the U.S. and a Middle Eastern country by assassinating that country's president.

Ok…you can now totally forget the plot. Just know that no one else but Jack, lately recovered from a fatal disease by virtue of his daughter’s Stem Cells (Take THAT George Bush!!) is back at it. And the bad guys had better run for cover because when Bauer is on the case the body count can rival the Battle Of Gettysburg for sheer carnage. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!)

On Sunday night Fox premiered the first two hours of the day and, if they are any indication, TV’S best guilty pleasure has lost none of it’s fast ball. I promise you…it’s going to be one hell of a ride!

As the first episode opens we see Jack playing with his absolutely adorable granddaughter and our hero is…well…I don’t know quite how to say this…but….ummmm…Jack is….HAPPY! Now followers of 24 know that Jack has had roughly 5 happy minutes in eight years. He actually doubles that and gets about 10 minutes of familial bliss with daughter Kim and granddaughter Teri (and amorphous husband of Kim who’s name escapes me at the moment but who will surely die at some point in the next…24.)

Needless to say 24 hours of Jack Bauer playing with the family would lack a certain adrenaline rush thus in short order he is drawn into the latest plot against the forces of EEEEEEvil.

And I gotta tell you....

Evil is in a lot of trouble.

In no time at all Jack has killed his first two bad guys. One with an axe…which is just , you know…very cool, had his informant and a helicopter blown up 10 feet away and very nearly goes rogue (AGAIN) except that he blackmails the new head of CTU by threatening to call his friend the President. Not bad for the first couple of hours.

It can only get worse for Jack from here…which is always good for US!

But here is the point of this ramble…(you knew if you hung around long enough that I would have an actual point to make didn’t you?) .


As Jack was being dragged back a world of murder and mayhem, betrayals and Kobiashi Maru scenarios, (and damned little appreciation for it all) I found myself feeling very sorry for a man who only wants a moment of peace. I mean after saving us from assassination plots, nerve gas, atomic bombs, evil cartels, drug lords and Reality TV, doesn’t he deserve a happy retirement? Let Freddie Prinze Jr. save the world for a change. (If it gets too tough for him, he can always get help from Mrs. Prinze, who also happens to have some experience in the world saving department). I mean let’s take score here. Jack has:

Lost his wife Teri
Lost countless friends and co-workers

Been held and tortured in a Chinese Prison

Been betrayed by his mistress Nina

Been betrayed by his best friend Tony

Lost his lover Audrey because she…well cracked up from being Jack’s girlfriend.

Been hunted by the government he sacrificed all of the above to defend.

Accumulated more scars on his body than Rambo.


Well you get the picture. Life has not been easy for Mr. Bauer.
Hasn’t Jack sacrificed enough? Isn’t it time he got a day off?

Obviously not, because as his doomed informant points out, Jack is “the guy who always does the right thing”

Jack is back and I for one am ecstatic. Would you REALLY trust Mr. Buffy The Vampire Slayer Prinze to save the world? I mean look what he almost single handedly did to Wing Commander and Scooby Doo!

24 airs Monday nights at 9 on Fox.

That’s 30!



Cat Jones said...

You have a small typo in there - Buffy was born in 1981, not 1980 (between the 17th and 20th of January, if her comment in 'Doomed' that she is a Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius is to be believed). Shame on you Mitch! LOL.


Holmes said...

You know I was just thinking that you never actually see Cat and Sarah Michelle Gellar together...hmmm...

NO! That's just wrong on SO many levels!

Mitch :)